One Year ago....

         One year ago today was my 20 week ultrasound. We had already found out that we were having a boy, so we were just excited about getting to see him again. The lady that was doing the ultrasound was fairly young so when she was taking a lot pictures and a long time, I just thought that she must be new. But after the ultrasound was done and she said that there was something that she found and would like the Dr. to come in and talk to us I knew something was wrong. But it was nothing close to what I thought it might be. Two of our other kids have had a heart murmur so we had to come back for another ultrasound. But nothing really needed to be done about it. The Dr came in and start to tell us that they thought that our baby had signs of having Spina Bifida. Large head, large ventricles and what looks to be an opening in his spine. As he was telling us this my husband was on his phone googling Spina Bifida. Which is not a good idea. We spent the next 4 hours talking about our options. With it being the Tuesday before Thanksgiving we were  kind of on hold. Which is the worst thing to be on when you just find out that your baby has Spina Bifida. It was all that I could think about. At this time I'm sad to say that I had a hard time relating to the baby. I wasn't seeing him as a baby anymore. He was Spina Bifida. But as I prayed and asked the Lord to help me know what to do to, a thought came into my mind that he is my baby, he will look just like your other kids. So now that he is born and people comment on him looking like one of his brothers. I remember that time when I was told that he would. It really did help me reconnect with him. If I could see our family today, last year at this time I wouldn't of worried so much. We are so blessed to have this little guy in our lives. He brings us so much joy. I'm so grateful to be his mom and can't wait to see all the amazing thing he will do.